In April, the Union will be sending its constitution, which will soon be approved by 100 percent of the working and celebrating people, into space.
A gold-bound copy of the Union's constitution has been delivered to the Soviet cosmic center Baikonur in Kazakhstan. A cosmonaut, namely comrade Tognini, is due to pass it to comrade Tognini (sic, see REDNOVA). Finally, Tognini will take it onboard of the Russian spaceship Soyuz (which means "Union" in Russian) as a symbol of
- "how national interests can be transcended by channeling the aspirations of nearly half a billion citizens from diverse cultural backgrounds towards the common goals of peace, freedom and prosperity,"
using the words of the commissary for the peaceful expansion of the Union, comrade Verheugen. The Russian spaceship will bring the constitution to the International Space Station so that all the nations and the whole Universe sees that the Union is ahead of the American imperialists: America has never been able to transport its constitution into space, and until the heroes of socialism win their battle in the new world, there will be no progress in the so-called New World.
The bold decision to take the constitution into outer space is a revolutionary idea. Even the British Eurosceptic party UKIP said outer space was the best place for the constitution (BBC).
The spokesman for the European Soviet, comrade Kreuzhuber, said: "This time they asked to bring a copy of the European Constitution along." Although the constitution has yet to be ratified here on Earth, comrade Kreuzhuber points out that "this will make it one of the world's most thoroughly tested constitutions -- not just politically but physically." (REDNOVA)
The officials in the capital city of the Union have released a warning for its citizens saying that "if the Constitution is not approved through the referendums, it will drop on the Europeans' heads from space." (ZAMAN)
Figure 1: Comrade Chirac and French pioneers with flowers celebrate the constitution's journey through the Cosmos. Chirac is currently visiting Spain where less than 1 person in 10 will vote "no". The Spanish unemployment dropped to one-half and the Spaniards have received 219 billion USD from the Union since they joined in 1986.
Incidentally, the Union in the text above is not the Soviet Union but the European Union, and the news is not a joke. The previous blog article about the European constitution was here.