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James Hansen plans to arrest Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama

On the same week when CERN has shown that cosmic rays strongly determine the rate of the birth of condensation nuclei and cloud condensation nuclei, and they and the Sun therefore decide about much of the climate change on Earth, the alarmist scientists are not sleeping, either.

So what are the most important recent developments in the catastrophic climate science? Let's look at the newest research by James Hansen of NASA's GISS and Columbia University:

The White House & Tar Sands (turn your antivirus software on: the link points to James Hansen's server)
On these two groundbreaking pages, the top concerned climate researcher has discovered that tar sands contain carbon — the main toxic element that, as children learn at schools today, poses a lethal threat for life on Earth ;-) — and he has proposed an ingenious way to eliminate this element from the surface of North America:
This raises a question: if the Keystone XL pipeline is approved, can we make a citizen's arrest on Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama for violating the Security Act? If they were put in the back of a hot paddy wagon in DC and held for at least several hours with their hands tied behind their backs, maybe they would have a chance to think over this matter more clearly.
That's an amazingly good question, Prof Hansen! Note how clever his Al Gore Rhythm is; no skeptic or CERN employee would be able to invent something so smart. He just uses the old principle of the British common law, a citizen's arrest, and he will arrest Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton! He has even identified the legal justification of the citizen's arrest: the pipelines violate the Security Act.

After all, it's the primary role of the U.S. President and the Secretary of State for them to be constantly arrested by random citizens. That's how America works — that's what has made America so great, Hansen emphasizes.

You must also appreciate Hansen's brilliant way to increase the intelligence of the two arrested would-be important citizens. Svante Arrhenius, a co-father of the greenhouse effect, was increasing the intelligence and height of Swedish schoolkids by electric wires running and emitting electromagnetic waves throughout the classrooms. James Hansen's method is even more advanced and shows how much progress the proponents of the man-made greenhouse warming have made during the last 100 years: he will store Hillary and Barack in a hot paddy wagon in DC with - and this is also important - hands tied behind their backs. That will make them think more clearly. You must be thinking the same thing as your humble correspondent is: Why couldn't I have thought about it myself? ;-)

This is not a rhetorical question: I usually dislike when questions are posed as rhetorical ones because in the recent era, such a trick is usually meant to make the question a taboo. People are often expected to silently answer the question by a widespread myth that is never addressed explicitly. So what's the answer?

The reason I and you weren't capable of making this discovery is that we didn't have the required amount of experimental experience. James Hansen knows - or believes to know - how being arrested increases the person's intelligence. He's been arrested just five times or so - most recently, a few days ago - and he thinks that his IQ has already increased to 400 as a result - which would mean that it has jumped by nearly 350 points (the same as the maximum CO2 concentration that James Hansen will tolerate: the numerical agreement is surely not a coincidence). It follows that a citizen's arrest of Obama and Clinton will increase the politicians' ability to make wise decisions.

Hansen's combustion engine

But it's not just climate science and psychology of education in which James Hansen is a genuine global leader. He has also discovered a new way to drive your car:
Tar sands oil not only exceeds conventional petroleum, the energy used in mining, processing, and transporting tar sands oil makes it slightly worse (in terms of CO2 produced per unit energy) than coal. Who would drive a car powered by coal!?
Prof James Hansen has just revealed that people don't pour coal into their cars only because it would produce more CO2 emissions. So if you don't think that your car's CO2 emissions are a problem, you may use your car as the new Hansen Coal Motor (HCM). Instead of one gallon of gasoline which costs $3 or so in the U.S. - and much more in Europe - why don't you pour the same mass of coal into your motor whose price is still well below $1?

James Hansen assures you that your concern about the CO2 emissions are the only problem. So if you want to drive in a much cheaper way, it's enough to join James Hansen and deny that the reason why people don't use coal in cars has nothing to do with CO2 emissions and everything to do with coal's being solid and unexplosive which makes it impossible to pump it into and ignite it inside a combustion engine. ;-)

At any rate, Prof James Hansen was able to unify the combustion engine and steam engine without even knowing what those two terms mean.

Hansen's perpetuum-mobile tax

On his two newest pages, James Hansen has also revolutionized economics. After he arrests Obama and Clinton, he plans to force everyone to pay $1 or so for 1 gallon of gasoline - or any carbon equivalent - and distribute this money among the families' banking accounts. Everyone will be so happy.

Well, first of all, $1 won't make any important difference in the consumption of fossil fuels and you need something closer to $10. But even if you introduced such a policy, the result will be that those who consume lots of fossil fuels - and a huge portion of them represent the productive sector of the economy - will have a hard time and they will either go bust or transfer the costs to their consumers. The soaring prices will make everyone realize that everyone indirectly depends on the fossil fuels - our economy does.

It doesn't matter at all how you redistribute the money or what method you choose to charge the taxes, fees, or indulgences. The invariant fact is that any artificial and successful partial ban on fossil fuels will hurt the economy because the alternatives - except for nuclear energy which has other (primarily) politically related limitations - are much more expensive. So some people will inevitably be able to afford or produce less than they can today.

Moreover, Hansen's particular policy would strengthen the pressure on unproductive people to immigrate to the U.S. where citizens get money for free, without any work, and the pressure on the productive people to move in the opposite direction where energy may become cheaper. I don't have to explain what such a policy would do with the productivity of the U.S. economy. And I will not try to explain it to Prof James Hansen because I know that I am not quite such an ingenious teacher.

Hansen as a leader of the alarmist climate science

I would like to stress that James Hansen isn't a random John Cook whom I cherry-picked only because his texts are the best proof of the intellectual impotency and marginal insanity of the advocates of the global warming threat. In reality, James Hansen is also arguably the most respected alarmist climate scientist in the world. He's being respected as a celebrity not only by Greenpeace but by a large part of apologists for the meme that we face a dangerous man-made climate change.

How did it happen? How could it happen despite Hansen's obvious marginal insanity? Well, it actually happened not just despite his marginal insanity; it has largely happened because of that. People and organizations such as Greenpeace have simply been the most important drivers that were influencing the composition of the climate change community in recent decades. Many of them tried to show their true colors in a less obvious way than Greenpeace but the logic was really structurally isomorphic. And what they needed were quasi-lunatics similar to the Greenpeace members themselves - who could however pretend that they can also work as average, productive scientists at the same moment so that they are more socially acceptable than the generic nuts who just hug and climb the trees and chimneys and eat assorted roots.

In this combined discipline - an authentic average scientist reconciled with a passionate nutcase - James Hansen has become the world champion which is why he became the most prominent "climate scientist" according to the pseudoscientific definitions of "science" as imposed and distorted by the global warming establishment.

Hat tip: Tom Nelson and Marc Morano

Editor of another journal liquidated for not killing a non-alarmist article

Journal Remote Sensing recently published a paper by Spencer and Braswell. This led to the anger of the true scientists such as James Hansen who struggle to save the Earth and the Universe. All concerned climate scientists claim that only the unholy CO2 has the right to influence temperatures on Earth: clouds can't possibly cool the globe down (unless the clouds were created by an excess or shortage of CO2) because that would diminish the divine role of CO2. So they forced the editor of Remote Sensing to resign: WUWT. Herr Wolfgang Wagner, the ex-editor and a professor at Vienna University of Technology, approximately wrote the following:
...From a purely formal point of view, there were no errors in the review process. However, I was accused of allowing the publication of a skeptical paper that denies the need to suppress all climate deniers and potentially undermines the leading role of the IPCC in the climatological community. In fact, some of the holiest scientists have even claimed that the reviewers of the paper (whom I picked) dared to share the authors' opinion that the Earth is not going to fry by 2012 - among several other blasphemies.

While I was just sleeping with my Aryan wife, I realize that my alibi is not strong enough. I have utterly failed in my primary job to defend the holy status of the IPCC hysteria by choosing three well-cited reviewers instead of three reviewers who are disgusted by the deniers and who wear the Real Climate shirts. I have even neglected the fact that two comrades posted a negative article on Real Climate and and this submission was even managed by the famous Michael Mann who has gotten rid our race of the infamous Medieval Warm Period by a clever hiding trick. This comrade is the mann - not just an ordinary man. All the technical criticism in the RC article was scratched because it was wrong but what's more important is that the hatred against the deniers and heretics is with us to stay.

Trying to refute all scientific insights into the global warming phenomenon just based on the comparison of some observations with model predictions is strictly impossible. We have no right to attribute so much importance to unimportant things such as observations. Climate models and the feelings of 97% of James Hansen's fans must be much more important and I have failed to realize this wisdom for a few minutes.

So by this letter, I dedicate my head to the Climate Führer and to Rev James Hansen and I wish all surviving climate scientists a happy Climate Reality Day on September 14th when they're going to wave their hands to greet Al Gore on the background of millions of virtual hurricanes ruining the globe. Our race couldn't survive with impotent people like me who are incapable of cleaning the community from Spencers, Braswells, and their formally correct, precise, and penetrating but otherwise totally heretical papers. I hope that the BBC will run a story accusing Roy Spencer of daring to be a Christian - which should make sure that no other Wagner will ever dare to approach heretic Roy Spencer by less than 500 miles again. Now it's time to celebrate - and time for Joe Romm to wow and to be pleased that our gas chambers are stronger than any argument deniers could ever find...
All the similarity of the alarmists' behavior with the behavior of the NSDAP is surely purely accidental.

How did the letter, in which all the standard journal practices and elementary scientific decency was thrown to the toilet, help Herr Wagner to regain his politically correct credentials in the establishment? The first commenter on Joe Romm's blog, Anne, gives us a hint:
Wagner should be drafted to continue as editor-in-chief after demonstrating this type of integrity and courage. It is just this sort of principled and honest scientific journalist that need to be at the helm of key climate publications. If I had a vote, I’d say give him his job back, perhaps even with a raise and a couple of atta-boys. Every editor should get bonus $500,000 and a bronze Hansen medal for successfully rejecting one denier paper and $3,000,000 and a silver Hansen medal for a public commitment to kill all denier papers in his whole life.
So will Herr Wagner get his $3,000,000 bounty? Comment #6 and a reply suggest something:
Stephen: Why would any journal publish a Spencer paper ever again?
dick: Bingo
So Herr Wagner's bounty should be raised to $500,000 times the number of journals in the world times the number of papers that a denier writes in his or her life and a gold Hansen medal. Congratulations, now - after this long exercise - you have figured out everything about the climate, comrades! ;-)

Just to be sure, Trenberth, Abraham, and Gleick (Abraham is most famous as a scientist for having criticized Lord Monckton) realized that the Spencer+Braswell unimportant but heretical paper, suggesting that the clouds cool the surface even if these clouds were not created by CO2, is so dangerous for the survival of the Earth that they had to circumvent the usual multi-month procedures leading to the publication of a paper and they have to publish a new paper exposing Spencer's and Braswell's blasphemies already next Tuesday. ;-)

Meanwhile, in the real world, clouds blasphemously continue to cool the surface and the clouds themselves are driven by many things that have nothing to do with CO2: see Spencer's primer why Trenberth and others are wrong. But a Wagner will get to the neck of these conservative white male clouds sometime in the future, too! Someone will show that the clouds themselves are linked to Spencer, and therefore to the Big Oil, too. This will eliminate all clouds in the world. We will also command the wind and rain and a socialist paradise utopia will await all of us.

Drill, baby, drill

Michael Mann and his friends and fellows Minnesotans for Global Warming - in particular, Barack Obama, Al Gore, Sarah Palin, and Chicken Little - have released their new hit song, "Drill Baby Drill Song":

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reader David said...

Apart from demonstrating a psychopathic and paranoid personality suggesting the two top heads of state be arrested by the people for doing their jobs is actually treason and as such he could be the one arrested and spend more than a few hours in the back of a van as a result. I'd suggest anyone capable to carry out a citizen's arrest on him and see what the authorities think. Obama may actually be relieved to get him out of the way.

reader Pete said...

An interesting comment over at WUWT and the editor resignation.

It will be interesting if the theory put forward turns out to be true

reader libertygibbert said...

Luboš, you're the greatest foreign-language maestro of the English language since Nabakov. Gratuluji! ;-)