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Czech guy tries to bring 247 snakes and reptiles to aircraft

What is a mixed feeling?

This is the feeling when I read about a Czech compatriot who does something extraordinary – it makes me proud – but the extraordinary thing is to bring 247 reptiles such as lizards, snakes, frogs, turtles, snails, and other often poisonous creatures to an international flight from Buenos Aires to Europe (Madrid).

The Daily Mail was the first source among many that informed about the adventures of the 51-year-old Czech man who was arrested in Argentina a few weeks ago. But aside from his nationality, there's another reason why this story gets reported on this blog. It has something to do with mathematics and the passenger's name.

His name is Mr Karel Ábelovský which means Mr Charles Abelian; see his blog, too. I had to think for a minute how it can happen to a 21st century smuggler that his surname turns out to be "Abelian". Could he also be named Mr Shing-Tung Yang-Mills Gauge Theory? Only after some mental exercise, I recalled that Abel and Cain were two sons of Adam and Eve.

If these two men have lived at all, they lived well before Niels Henrik Abel who gave the name to the groups obeying
\[\forall g,h\in{\mathbb G}:\,\,gh=hg\] Because of the story in the Bible, some laymen could think that the passenger's surname, Abelian, has nothing to do with commuting groups. However, they would be wrong.

What the media failed to appreciate was that the total number of dangerous animals that were brought to the aircraft wasn't 247: it was 248, if one correctly counts Mr Abelian, too. And why did he do it?

There's a simple mathematical explanation, too. Without those animals, they were calling him "you one!". He didn't like to be the \(U(1)\) Abelian man. In fact, he was dreaming about being exactly the opposite, the largest exceptional non-Abelian simple compact Lie group.

There was only one problem: the dimension of \(E_8\) isn't equal to one. It is equal to 248. So Mr Abelian needed to add 247 deeply intertwined and interlocked generators of rotations. Snakes and similar creatures turned out to be the optimal generators of rotations, twisting, and sizzle that Mr Abelian could think of, so he simply brought them to the airplane.

In Argentina, a country that had lost 70% of its mathematical and physical research capacity when Juan Maldacena moved to New Jersey, smugglers who try to bring 247 additional animals to an international flight are colloquially known as "surfer dudes" because of a surfer located in the Hawaii who was treating the 248 generators of \(E_8\) as carelessly and dangerously as Mr Abelian dealt with the 248 animals including himself.

Mr Abelian who may spend up to 10 years in the prison killed two of the animals who suffered from the lack of oxygen. Mr Lisi wasn't brutal enough to destroy two generators of \(E_8\) but he came pretty close to it.

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