Blamed for drought by Muslims
BEIRUT (Syria), [date]. Drought and severe cold is disastrously affecting the cattle in Syria, and the Muslim chiefs at Damascus have attributed the wrath of the heavens to the recent introduction of the yo-yo.
They say that while the people are praying for rain to come down from above the yo-yo goes down, and before reaching the ground springs up through the subtle pull of the string.
The chiefs interviewed the Prime Minister, and exposed the evil influence of yo-yos, so they were immediately banned.
Today the police paraded the streets and confiscated the yo-yos from everyone they saw playing with them.
Source: Barrier Miner (Broken Hill, New South Wales: 1888 - 1954), 23 January 1933
The censored date at the top was January 21st. I changed "Moslems" to "Muslims" so that it's not clear from the beginning that the text is ancient. Educated readers realized that anyway because Beirut hasn't belonged to "Syria" since 1943 (the correct name of the state should have been The French Mandate for Syria and the Lebanon, anyway) and because Muslim chiefs will only return to command police in Damascus after the possibly looming war.
At any rate, the similarity with the IPCC-backed religion cannot be overlooked. People see two things happening at about the same time (one of them has been happening for billions of years but they don't care), they decide that correlation and even coincidence is the same thing as causation, and the rest is just about making sure that the law enforcement forces enforce this deep life-saving insight. ;-)
The yo-yos probably resemble the rain droplets. Before they can reach the ground thanks to the gravity of the prayers, the force from an evil string returns them to the clouds. The springs, if any, stretched between the clouds and the rain droplets may look too weak but that's OK because they're surely strengthened by positive feedbacks. The debate is over.
Thanks to Steve Goddard for the URL