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Weird German climate commercials

German sex: only dressed and in the dark

My homeland belongs to the broader German civilization space. Germans are ahead in many things. What is waiting for us if we pursue their strategy to "fight the climate change"?

Barbara Hendricks, the German minister of the environment (SPD), has spent $2 million of the taxpayer money to produce the Together Is the Climate Change (my translation can't be perfect, can it?) video clips.



What can we learn from our German neighbors? Well, in this video, the wife – a musician – closes the window because she doesn't want to listen to the zombies who are devouring her hard-working husband in their garden.




Is that the right attitude of a loving wife? The caption says:

The world is telling you: Thank you! Stop keeping the windows open in the winter. If you only ventilate shortly and rarely, it is better for the climate.
The climate doesn't care but more importantly, it's probably not too good for the husband if his spouse leaves him as a lunch for the zombies. But infantile fairy-tales about the climate are more important than the life of humans (just like 70 years ago), aren't they?




But the most popular video – 2 million views on YouTube – describes this sensitive scene:



A teenage daughter silently returns home. She turns on the light to see her parents (or a parent with someone else?) having sex, apparently. It's probably important that they are fully dressed during the maneuvers (they are not wasting any energy for heating). The girl turns red and switches the lights off again. What is the lesson?
For this act, the world is thanking you. To reduce the electricity consumption by German households by 5% means to make one coal power plant unnecessary. As a result, this represents the protection of the climate.
It could also make one nuclear reactor redundant – if the Germans were not stupidly banning them as well. One coal power plant turned off for decades may contribute –0.00001 °C to the global mean temperature. If you call it the protection of anything, well, I certainly don't. It is a form of pure medieval superstition for a key civilized nation on Earth to have sex in complete darkness and fully dressed in order to "protect the climate" by changing the temperature by microkelvins in a direction that was irrationally called "protective".

Several other ads have been created.



In this one, a chap who is considered a "macho" in the German context performs certain exercises with his butt and car keys to attract a female with a bicycle. His car keys get stuck after he throws them towards a lamp or something and she loads him on her bicycle, thus helping him. The German viewers learn the following interpretation of the story:
The climate tells you: Thank you. The climate is happy about every single bike ride.
When we were 5, may of us already found pictures of the "smiling Sun" too childish. But nations may be different and it's just perfectly OK for the 62-year-old minister to talk about a climate that is happy about seeing someone who rides a bike. (I ride bikes all the time but it's utterly stupid to suggest that this may be justified or motivated by the happy climate.)

These are the three most popular ads in the list but maybe you will like some other video clips over there, too.

Grandmas cause global warming

Incidentally, a German daily, Hannoversche Allgemeine Zeitung (autom. EN), informed its readers about the research conducted by government-funded GGR in Hanover that determined that the "damages to the climate are caused by the German seniors" because it's these old bastards who are "riding their cars more frequently than they did in the past" (and who have more driving licenses) which is how they "threaten the regional climate goals".



A smiling climate beast (from the HAZ article)

Moreover, it's especially the female seniors who are already "driving their cars almost as often as their male counterparts". The climate friendliness of Hanover has improved "but the rate of improvements began to resemble stagnation". The newspaper hasn't clarified whether there are already plans to relocate all the Hanover grandmas to Dachau.

You know, the fact that people are driving cars more often than in the past is known as progress. And the fact that the older women have caught up with the older men would otherwise be described as a great example of emancipation and social progress. But the anti-carbon religion is apparently powerful enough to beat even the feminist Nazism.



Silly ads like that and "research" assaulting German grandmas may be funny but it's very sad and dangerous if millions of citizens decide about rather important aspects of their behavior by absorbing the content of such ads. Ms Hendricks is taking herself too seriously – I am sort of happy to expect that similar campaigns would be considered somewhat scandalous in Czechia.

Hat tip: Antimeloun.cz (against the watermelons who are green on the surface and red i.e. commies in the bulk); story about seniors



In the U.S., ignoring the indefensibility of his policies in the Congress, Barack Obama is planning a large anti-climate-change campaign at schools, too. He met powerful folks from many sectors of the society to agree about a plan for the anti-kid brainwashing Blitzkrieg in the White House yesterday.



An investigation suggests that a recently published research claiming that honeybees are killed by pesticides was a fraudulent theater play with the conclusions prepared in advance. The apparent goal of these "scientists" is to lower the global production of food, make billions of people starve to death, and cool the planet by several millikelvins in this way.



Christiana Figueres, a top U.N. climate chief, demands trillions of dollars a year as the annual "climate reparations" to the third world. "$100 billion is frankly a very, very small sum," she complains. She defines the 21st century technologies as those that will be approved by the ziek brain of hers, and she wants most of the $90 trillion that will be invested to infrastructure in the next 15 years to be paid to/through her Mafia. In a sane world, she would be begging on the street and you would think whether you throw a quarter at her. Unfortunately, we don't live in a sane world so bitches like this scream at us that $100 billion a year isn't sufficient for her international criminal organization.

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snail feedback (19) :


reader Tony said...

Have Germans completely lost their marbles!? That's ridiculous!


reader Eclectikus said...

Leibniz is spinning in his grave and bleeding from the ears. Well, Leibniz and Kepler, Kant, Gauss, Hertz, Planck, Heisenberg, Born, Bethe... all of them in phase.


reader Bee said...

"Zusammen ist es Klimaschutz" means "Together it is climate protection". Hard to avoid this campaign when you're in Germany - makes me cringe. The acronym 'ziek' is the Dutch word for "ill". Tells you how much thought went into this.


reader Alex said...

Average IQ is 100, so half the world is below that. God (or something) help us.


reader John Archer said...

So risible are they that to me these ads look very much like the bozo greentards shooting themselves in the foot again. Actually, they strike me as worse — an insult even to the intelligence of complete morons. So I would imagine they'd have quite the opposite effect to that intended, irritating Fritz Soap so much that he'd become rather antigrün.

Do you think they run test showings on sample audiences first to determine their effectiveness (however they measure that) in achieving their objective? Surely not?

Still, the bozos have a little way to go to top this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FS5CH-Xc0co

I find these things hard to judge sometimes. For example I never thought bliar would attract the votes he did. (My thesis on The wisdom of Crowds: they don't have any.)


reader Luboš Motl said...

Thanks, Sabine. Word by word, I can see that it is "together it is climate protection" but this sentence is so mysterious to me that didn't write it in this way. What is climate protection and what role does "together" play in it? It must mean that if we act together, we protect the climate, am I wrong? But why it can be shortened in this way is beyond me.


If one can't avoid in Germany although its cost was just EUR 1.5 million (if I understand that the amount includes the fees for airing commercials etc.), it is a pretty impressive way to use EUR 1.5 million.


Oh, Dutch for ill... that's why Google Translate had no chance. ;-)


reader John Archer said...

There really ought to be a Klimaschtuzstaffel.

Put on your green hair shirts now and start stomping for Gaia!

Alles zusammen jetzt! Eins, zwei, drei, vier...

Die Fahne hoch! die Reihen fest geschlossen...


reader Bee said...

Yeah, I guess that's what it's supposed to mean. Sounds like out of the slogan generator though. I got "Get busy with the climate" which sounds about as meaningful ;) http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi?word=climate


reader OneStringToRuleThemAll said...

Hey Lubos, offtopic: Where are the new Planck results? :(


reader Uncle Al said...

Snow White had everything she needed except a kiss. As with all such business transactions, it was expensive. She spent the rest of her days happily doing dishes in cold water.


Stealing from the productive to award the deserving, less a cut of the cashflow for postage and handling, defines social advocacy. When Rome stopped cutting throats, it cut its own - and the whole of Western civilization died. The Dark Ages did not slake Yahweh's lust for human anguish.


The Protestant Reformation fled to New World north while Inquisition's sons purified the south. Thank God we are now all embracing the Old Ways of dying for our beliefs.


reader Rehbock said...

Hilarious, at first but a little disturbing by the end.


reader Gene Day said...

There is a precedent for that; isn’t there?


reader Tom said...

Very funny video, John, for the truly frightening reason that it is not that great of stretch from the truth. I have a buddy with two young daughters in elementary school and he is always telling me about them coming home in tears after having the latest green-madness drummed into them. Evidently, that stuff is all presented to them as absolute fact. The societal consequences a couple decades out of such indoctrination of the very young lies beyond my powers of imagination.


reader Tony said...

Wait, you mean to say that in this video they are not intentionally making a ridicule out of Climate Change brainwashing?


reader Luboš Motl said...

Dear Tony, it's a famous No Pressure global warming ad, was shot by very famous people, and I assure you it was totally deliberate.

http://motls.blogspot.com/2010/10/1010-movement-all-skeptical-kids-and.html?m=1


reader David said...

The German slogan is an odd construction that probably sounds strange even to native speakers. You might loosely translate it as "The sum of all these actions will protect the climate".


reader NikFromNYC said...

I'm going to say it so clearly that it hopefully hurts.


IGNORE IT!


"The West is the best." - Jim Morrison


reader TomVonk said...

The newspaper hasn't clarified whether there are already plans to relocate all the Hanover grandmas to Dachau.
.
Dear Lubos, have you some insider knowledge that you hide from us that additional capacities of Dachau are needed and that the, more traditional Grandmas reeducation center in Ravensbrück is no more suficient ?


reader TomVonk said...

You know, Germans are the only nation I know in the world (only Japanese are slightly similar) which is able to produce what I call a "national laser"
Sometimes under certain input the whole nation (and I really mean 99% of the German) acquires exactly the same mental state and fires at the same time a huge amount of coherent concentrated energy.
.
Lubos who gets his German language by osmosis (like many Czechs) has already been talking several times about Gleichschaltung, term that can only exist in German because only German can be gleichgeschaltet.
This may look scary for those who are on the receiving end of this energy discharge but one must realize that the German REALLY believe that they are saving the world.
The only problem is that they keep trying over and over every 50 years or so ;)