Newsweek, Business Insider, and many other news servers remind us that the boss (and chalif) of ISIS, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, was injured in a March airstrike.
Consequently, it was time for the ISIS to pick another chieftain. It turned out to be a former physics teacher from Tal Afar, Iraq named Abu Alaa Afri.
Al-Baghdadi's "main organs" are working – I am not sure whether they include his brain among the "main organs" – but the physics teacher would have many advantages.
We're told that Abu Alaa Afri is
- the beloved protege of late Osama bin Laden (PBUH: Piss Be Urinating Him)
- more important than Al-Baghdadi
- smarter than Al-Baghdadi
- a good public speaker
- strongly charismatic (see the picture above)
- the third most important commenter at Peter W*it's crackpot blog
- an anti-quantum zealot
- full of jihadi wisdom