Saturday, February 12, 2005

EU constitution in space

In April, the Union will be sending its constitution, which will soon be approved by 100 percent of the working and celebrating people, into space.

A gold-bound copy of the Union's constitution has been delivered to the Soviet cosmic center Baikonur in Kazakhstan. A cosmonaut, namely comrade Tognini, is due to pass it to comrade Tognini (sic, see REDNOVA). Finally, Tognini will take it onboard of the Russian spaceship Soyuz (which means "Union" in Russian) as a symbol of

  • "how national interests can be transcended by channeling the aspirations of nearly half a billion citizens from diverse cultural backgrounds towards the common goals of peace, freedom and prosperity,"

using the words of the commissary for the peaceful expansion of the Union, comrade Verheugen. The Russian spaceship will bring the constitution to the International Space Station so that all the nations and the whole Universe sees that the Union is ahead of the American imperialists: America has never been able to transport its constitution into space, and until the heroes of socialism win their battle in the new world, there will be no progress in the so-called New World.

The bold decision to take the constitution into outer space is a revolutionary idea. Even the British Eurosceptic party UKIP said outer space was the best place for the constitution (BBC).

The spokesman for the European Soviet, comrade Kreuzhuber, said: "This time they asked to bring a copy of the European Constitution along." Although the constitution has yet to be ratified here on Earth, comrade Kreuzhuber points out that "this will make it one of the world's most thoroughly tested constitutions -- not just politically but physically." (REDNOVA)

The officials in the capital city of the Union have released a warning for its citizens saying that "if the Constitution is not approved through the referendums, it will drop on the Europeans' heads from space." (ZAMAN)



Figure 1: Comrade Chirac and French pioneers with flowers celebrate the constitution's journey through the Cosmos. Chirac is currently visiting Spain where less than 1 person in 10 will vote "no". The Spanish unemployment dropped to one-half and the Spaniards have received 219 billion USD from the Union since they joined in 1986.

Incidentally, the Union in the text above is not the Soviet Union but the European Union, and the news is not a joke. The previous blog article about the European constitution was here.

6 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. Haha, very funny.

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  3. I think it is no joke either.

    Constitituions are the very lifeblood of nations, and if the idea was to transcend the division or sum of the parts, then it would have had to far exceed anything that curently has been established on the globe.

    Such leading principles would have had to applied to all individuals in the expression, hence there would be no racial discrimmination, as to the rights of those same inividuals in developing towards the inherent rights and freedoms of those same expressions.

    Not a world organization that takes away these rights?

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  4. http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=541&ncid=541&e=1&u=/ap/20050213/ap_on_he_me/apn_young_boozers

    Health Experts Worry on Czech Drinking

    Sat Feb 12, 8:50 PM ET

    Add to My Yahoo! Health - AP

    By KAREL JANICEK, Associated Press Writer

    PRAGUE, Czech Republic - Drinking is a national pastime in this beer-loving country, and health experts worry they have trouble on their hands: A growing number of underaged youths, some as young as 10, are hitting the bottle regularly.

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  5. http://www.nytimes.com/2005/02/10/science/10warm.html

    2004 Was Fourth-Warmest Year Ever Recorded
    By ANDREW C. REVKIN

    Published: February 10, 2005

    Last year was the fourth warmest since systematic temperature measurements began around the world in the 19th century, NASA scientists said yesterday.

    Particularly high temperatures were measured over Alaska, the Caspian Sea region of Europe and the Antarctic Peninsula, while the United States was unusually cool. But the global average continued a 30-year rise that is "due primarily to increasing greenhouse gases in the atmosphere," said Dr. James E. Hansen, director of NASA's Goddard Institute for Space Studies, in Manhattan.

    The main source of such gases is smokestack and tailpipe emissions from burning coal and oil.

    The highest global average was measured in 1998, when temperatures were raised by a strong cycle of El Niño in the Pacific Ocean; 2002 and 2003 were second and third warmest.

    Dr. Hansen said a weak Niño pattern was likely to make 2005 at least the second warmest year and could push it beyond 1998 and set a record.

    The unusual nature of the recent warming was corroborated separately yesterday by a new analysis of 2,000 years of indirect temperature records in tree rings, stalagmites, seabed layers, and other evidence from around the Northern Hemisphere.

    That study, published in the journal Nature, found that previous peaks of warming, particularly during medieval times about 1,000 years ago, were as warm as the 20th-century average but that no spikes in the last 2,000 years matched the warming since 1990.

    It is one of several recent studies challenging a longstanding view that temperatures in the Northern Hemisphere were relatively unvarying until the recent warming, a pattern enshrined in a graph scientists have taken to calling the hockey stick for its long horizontal "shaft" and upward-hooking "blade."

    The lead author of the new paper, Anders Moberg of Stockholm University in Sweden, said it was important to recognize that natural influences on climate could either amplify or mask human-caused warming in years to come.

    But his paper "should not be a fuel for greenhouse skeptics in their arguments," Mr. Moberg said, adding that there were ample signs that the warming was now outside nature's recent bounds.

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  6. The Czechs are the world champions in beer drinking, 40% ahead of the Irish.

    I personally was only drinking very moderately at the age of 5-6 with my grandfather. Then I started to dislike it, and returned to very moderate consumption at the age of 18 or so.

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