Figure 1: Carbon dioxide, the culprit and an obedient ally of the devil, imperialists, capitalists, heretics, and deniers, and the most important toxic material to be regulated by the EPA. The reactionary poison was first discovered in the 17th century by Jan Baptist van Helmont who burned charcoal.
I would have bet 10:1 that this couldn't happen because it just seems completely insane to me. Clearly, I was wrong. Because the decision has left me breathless, at least I don't emit this illegal pollutant. :-) At any rate, econuts are slowly taking over America.
It's time for everyone to become carbon-neutral. Al Gore becomes carbon neutral by paying 0.1% of his profits from his most toxic zinc mine for a green logo on his energy bills. If you have no zinc mines, you may become carbon neutral by eating hamburgers in McDonald's more frequently. Every cow that they successfully kill for you to have a lunch was a nasty emitter of greenhouse gases. For example, this guy is carbon-neutral, too.
The following acts and processes cease to be legal:
- respiration, breathing
- using electrical devices (electricity is fire by the law)
- decay of animal and plant matter
- fermentation, production of alcoholic drinks
- production of cement
- heating up oceans that release CO2
- volcanic outgassing