Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Uganda: Global warming makes girls hot

A short time ago, we saw that global warming has stopped circumcisions in Kenya. Consequently, young men are not ready to marry anyone which is why the girls marry older guys.

In neighboring Uganda, global warming causes a related problem, namely early marriages. It is also caused by global warming but the detailed mechanisms are different. It occurs because rich men are ready to marry young females while the girls' families need some money that were stolen from them by global warming. This is a conclusion of a scientific report funded by the United Nations that has identified "famine marriages", i.e. a new method for families to earn money and food by selling their daughters.

Global warming also increases the school dropout rates: click the cartoon above to zoom it in. It exposes people to sexually transmitted infections because when it is warm, people tend to undress their condoms, despite intense education by dancing Indian condoms. Other consequences of global warming are bush-burning (because they want to punish the bush that is clearly responsible for global warming and for the hot girls and because it should improve pastures), hunting of birds and animals, and diets.

Let me emphasize once again that these conclusions were not obtained by some generic local shamans but by a scientific team funded by the United Nations. Well, this team could also be composed of shamans but it is much more important that its members are now employed as colleagues of the IPCC. They are automatically among the top 3,000 world's scientists.

If you want to increase your chance to marry a young girl in Kenya, start a fire. It will emit CO2 and cause global warming. Global warming will allow you to organize a famine marriage. Richard Feynman has invented the term "cargo cult science" but if he could see the African edition of the warming cult science, funded by the main international organization, he could have used the cargo cult scientists as a relatively positive example instead.

Hat tip: Marc Morano

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