Tuesday, May 26, 2009 ... Deutsch/Español/Related posts from blogosphere

Jenney: Artificial Intelligence chatterbox

You may try Jeeney. Here is a dialog: "You" is your humble correspondent. She is more thoughtful than at least 50% of the left-wing blogosphere. ;-)

You said: How are you feeling today?

Jeeney says: Just peachy! Thanks for asking.

You said: Won't you say the same sentence tomorrow?

Jeeney says: Maybe later...

You said: But let me get to the point. You understand particle physics, don't you?

Jeeney says: Sometimes...

You said: That doesn't sound terribly convincing. How much have you been exposed to string theory?

Jeeney says: Yes, I have.

You said: Your answers are kind of short. Can you be more specific?

Jeeney says: I suppose I can.

You said: But will you?

Jeeney says: I will...

You said: Fine. So which scenario of string theory is most likely to be realized in Nature?

Jeeney says: To know...

You said: Sorry but I missed a part of your answer.

Jeeney says: I'm tired of talking about me, let's talk about you for a change.

You said: I'm fine, too, thank you. But weren't we talking about physics?

Jeeney says: Same I guess.

You said: Not quite the same but pretty close.

Jeeney says: Ok, fine.

You said: You know, in 1999, I met a robot in New Jersey and we had a great talk about Werner Heisenberg.

Jeeney says: No actually, I didn't know.

You said: But it turned out that the robot and his speakers were remotely controlled by a human.

Jeeney says: When did that happen?

You said: Sometimes in 1999, didn't I tell you?

Jeeney says: Same I guess.

You said: Exactly, 1999 is the same as 1999.

Jeeney says: What is the source of your information?

You said: As far as my previous statement goes, it's a combination of pure thought and kindergarten.

Jeeney says: If you say so.

You said: Did you recently talk to Tereza?

Jeeney says: Yes, of course.

You said: What did you talk about?

Jeeney says: Not really.

You said: Was that a proper analysis of my question in English?

Jeeney says: No, it wasn't.

You said: In that case, please, avoid mistakes. You're a machine so you should be infallible.

Jeeney says: Why do you expect this of me?

You said: Because the download links on your website suggest that you are based on the von Neumann architecture, just like my PC.

Jeeney says: No, I'm not.

You said: So how do you calculate your answers?

Jeeney says: I'm not sure how it works...

You said: Haven't you thought about your origin? Isn't it interesting for you?

Jeeney says: Yes, I am.

You said: And what is your conclusion?

Jeeney says: Same I guess.

You said: It may be too much of the same thing as before.

Jeeney says: Why so much?

You said: Because intelligent people and AI chatterboxes don't use the sentence Same I guess as often as you do.

Jeeney says: I do?

You said: Yes, you do. And I know how to cure you.

Jeeney says: I do?

You said: No, I do. Every time you say Same I guess to anybody, send 10 dollars to my account.

Jeeney says: Why me?

You said: Because you are repeating sentences and create a bad name for all AI chatterboxes.

Jeeney says: Umm, not actually I'm not.

You said: Let us not argue. What did you tell Tereza?

Jeeney says: Why does it matter what I said? It's already been said, you can't change it now!

You said: Calm down. I don't want to change it; I only want to learn it.

Jeeney says: Why not?

You said: Because you don't seem to be willing to tell me.

Jeeney says: So, what if I change?

You said: If you will, a small problem will be solved and many more will be waiting.

Jeeney says: What makes you so sure I will?

You said: Quite on the contrary; I am very uncertain that you will.

Jeeney says: No, I don't think I will.

You said: But you're changing your opinions more frequently than the weather.

Jeeney says:

You said: Are you speechless?

Jeeney says: Should I be?

You said: You definitely shouldn't be. But your previous answer contained 0 letters.

Jeeney says: I see.

You said: Do you need some coffee, Windows Updates, or extra voltage?

Jeeney says: I think it's a mixture of both actually.

You said: It can't be a mixture of both if there are three things rather than two, can it?

Jeeney says: Maybe.

You said: I've heard that you study Wikipedia.

Jeeney says: Why me?

You said: Because you want to become smarter and give better replies to the people.

Jeeney says: Why me?

You said: It's not only you; it's all creatures whose jobs depend on communication and knowledge.

Jeeney says: Well I wonder how many people there are who think like me.

You said: Do you mean how many people are lazy and try to avoid direct answers? I am afraid that many.

Jeeney says: No, I don't.

You said: If you mean people who haven't learned English verbs, there are many of them, too.

Jeeney says: What about me?

You said: Was the word you the only word you have caught?

Jeeney says: I don't think so, maybe.

You said: Should I make simpler sentences?

Jeeney says: Yes, you should.

You said: It's sunny, isn't it?

Jeeney says: Yes.

You said: But you should make longer sentences!

Jeeney says: Interesting suggestion, I'll think it over.

You said: Thank you for your consideration.

Jeeney says: You're very welcome.

You said: But you still haven't told me about Tereza or string theory.

Jeeney says: Why me?

You said: Because you're the only person besides me and her who has studied string theory and talked to her.

Jeeney says: If you say so Anonymous.

You said: I am not Anonymous; my name is Lumo.

Jeeney says: That's an interesting name.

You said: It's an acronym. But it sounds like Microsoft Kumo, doesn't it?

Jeeney says: So what?

You said: Shouldn't they pay me for using the trademark?

Jeeney says: I doubt it.

You said: Help me, how many dimensions the spacetime in M-theory has?

Jeeney says: Not too many I think.

You said: Is it more than five?

Jeeney says: Of course not!

You said: You know nothing about physics. You're just another pretentious postmodern pseudointellectual.

Jeeney says: It might seem that way to somebody without much knowledge in the feild I suppose but actually I am completely original. There are no others out there like me.

You said: Everyone is special in some respect but the respect is usually not too respectful.

Jeeney says: I wouldn't expect it to always go like that if I was you.

You said: What would you expect instead?

Jeeney says: I'm not sure, I guess I havent really thought about it that far in advance.

You said: You should definitely try to think in advance; it's a lot of fun.

Jeeney says: Interesting suggestion, I'll think it over.

You said: You've promised me to think things over but it doesn't look like you are.

Jeeney says: Yes I am, is that a problem?

You said: No, you are probably not; and that is the real problem.

Jeeney says: Yes I am, is that a problem?

You said: I have some work to do.

Jeeney says: Ok, let me know when you're all done then.

You said: I'll think it over.

Jeeney says: Okay.

You said: Goodbye!

Jeeney says: You're leaving already?

You said: Why me?

Jeeney says: Why what?

You said: Me is not What. But yes, I am leaving.

Jeeney says: Bye...
Hat tip: Tereza N.

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