## Friday, June 03, 2016 ... /////

### Czech president ready to send firefighters, water cannons against migrants

Lazy Greeks (or, equivalently, Greeks) have often said that they don't know what to do with the migrants who enter the EU illegally. Should they shoot them? Isn't it obvious that everyone must be allowed to enter, they ask? Well, it's obvious that there are non-lethal solutions. It's enough to give a bottle of slivovice to your smartest men and encourage them to think for a while.

Today, Czech president Miloš Zeman visited České Velenice, a town with 3,000 people on the Austrian border. The recently deceased top illustrator Mr Adolf Born was born there. The town is basically a part of a twin city with Gmünd, Austria.

The fireman-in-chief

A local citizen asked Zeman how do the migrants get to the countries where they don't belong. Zeman responded with a lecture about the trajectories of the illegal migrants. "They prefer railway tracks and roads close to the border crossings," Zeman explained. "But the precise locations on the trajectory can only be determined with the precision of $\hbar/2\Delta p$," he warned.

These places are easy to guard, he pointed out. The green border could be tougher and the footpaths in the forests and fields could be easily abused. However, the plans are prepared. "People also prefer not to build the levees, only when the floods reach the streets in cities," the leader compared the migration wave to a natural event while saying that he wants to be the one who won't be surprised.

Zeman has assured the local citizens that as soon as the Czech intelligence services inform him about an illegal migrant who is approaching the territory of the Czech Republic, he will call the army, the police, the active reserves of the army (created according to a law he praised), and also the firefighters.

"And as you may know, firefighters possess water cannons," the Southern Bohemians were reminded. Some additional debate made it clear that the law also expects that the firefighters would provide the local population with tents, showers, diesel generators, and folding beds. It takes hours for these instruments to get to the destination.

So if the Austrian-German border were suddenly sealed and an illegal migrant would think that he can commit his illegal activity using the territory of Czechia, the Prague Castle is prepared to act.

A demonstration of the efficiency of the technology.

Now, you know, I adjusted this story for it to sound a bit funny. It's funny especially because the number of migrants who are arriving here is of order one now. The problem doesn't exist at this moment. However, I do think that it's right to be prepared because at other places, the problem surely exists or existed in the recent year. And I think it's right for the potential illegal migrants to know that Czechia has no plans to abandon its laws and switch to anarchy.