Thursday, April 18, 2019

Alessandro's essay in Quillette

The full Mueller report is out – 212+236 = 448 pages of PDF. Well, OK, parts of the pages are redacted out, ongoing matters. You may decide for yourself whether something is left from the Russiagate conspiracy theories.
Two days ago, Alessandro Strumia published the ultimate essay about his encounter with the "women in science" issue. It discusses lots of things, the bibliographic analyses, the two gaps they found, the reasons why he gave the talk, the bad treatment he has gotten, his wise decision not to sue although "Particle for Justice" and similar texts could give him many reasons, and more.

But I want to talk about something else.

Judeo-Christianity and the Greco-Roman culture are the two recognized roots of the European culture. But there's really a third leg we shouldn't forget about about, our old-fashioned Pagan traditions, those that you can still see in Czechia and Slovakia. Although these civilizations weren't terribly high-tech, they gave the Europeans something important, too. We were Pagans up to 863 AD or so (when missionaries arrived from the Byzantine Empire to turn us Orthodox for a while) – so these things are not so infinitely distant. See e.g. The Pagan Queen to understand (a somewhat Americanized story) how the proto-Czechs lived a century earlier.

Easter is here again. The Christian church was rather tolerant to the local cultures and traditions so our celebration of Jesus' final days on Earth also involves the whipping of the girls and women – our Easter (and similarly Christmas) became a hybrid of the Christian orthodoxy and some pre-existing traditions linked to the same seasons. First, to become a full-blown European who also stands on the third leg, the naturally Pagan one, you need to learn how to knit the Easter whip out of twigs. Or buy one. If you want to be a perfectionist, the whip may be 300 feet long.

When you're ready, you need to chase girls and women in your village or town and beat them. It's particularly appropriate if you are a fan of the MeToo movement. Be careful of the people who could call the Santa Cruz police – that's an extra lesson I learned in California. ;-) The beating must be vigorous enough to substantially modify the girl's flow of blood, otherwise it's a useless formality. As the foreigners above explain, you should also pour buckets of water on the women.

There is a semi-established rule that during the leap years, like 2020, the role of the sexes gets reversed. But be sure, this paradigm remains controversial.

By fulfilling the duty, the man is doing a great service for the girl or girls or woman or women. First, he shows the woman that she is attractive enough – she is certified as a girl or woman. Don't forget: a woman could feel really bad if she were omitted. The Easter whip is clearly meant to resemble something that only men possess. Second, the whipping makes it more likely for a girl to evolve into a full-blown, attractive woman. Third, it makes adult women healthier, more fruitful, and younger. You may check that it has worked with the lady in the video above.

The "elixir of youth" hiding in the whip is the reason behind the Czech name of the whip, "pomlázka". It is derived from "(p)omladit" i.e. "make someone younger". The Slovak name is "šibačka" which basically means "whip" or a "korbáč".

Only in rare cases, the "youngening" doesn't work. A revengeful woman may turn into a witch and scare the guy to death, like Lucy did after she disliked the forced swimming in a pool with smelly bananas.

You can see, the Easter whipping is a true blessing. For that blessing, the women reward the men who did it (the men should also scream the usual Easter carols, e.g. "hody hody doprovody, dejte vejce malovaný") with some useful products, usually (decorated or at least white) eggs. A more modern version of the tradition allows money and glasses of alcoholic beverage, too.

Everyone is happy – or at least it used to be so when the tradition was almost omnipresent.

More seriously, we have often thought of Christianity – at least the Christianity of the Middle Ages – as an authoritative religion that was forcing everyone to adapt. But as the survival of the Easter traditions in Czechia and Slovakia shows, it wasn't so bad. Despite all the links to the Spanish Inquisition and other intolerant organizations, Christianity was clearly more tolerant to the traditions and national cultures than the contemporary globalist ideologies. If they had the power, they would surely declare the Easter whips in Czechia and Slovakia politically incorrect and they would ban it.

You know, as a boy, I was whipping girls and women – but it was mostly a duty for me. I didn't get as excited as the boys used to be. And the frequency of this Easter Monday tradition has surely decreased in the subsequent decades. Most Czechs and Slovaks don't do it these days, and those who do are just preserving a tradition in the most superficial way. But I still think that if the European Union issued a regulation "on the need to stop the sexist Easter traditions in Czechia and Slovakia", it could very well be enough for us to leave the EU because it would unmask a really profound disrespect to our basic freedoms and identity.

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